hey!!
Hope everyone had a good day!
I didnt... i ate aroudn 900 calories and i fee absolutely disgusting.
i HATE the fact that i ate that much
i feel like crap.
hope you guys did 293847257683753 times better than i did!

love every single one of you

xx

I don't want to be alive sometimes.

Sometimes a lot.

I wished death on someone today, and I meant it, from the very bottom of my heart.
I've never met the person, nor have I researched their life,
but I refuse to take it back. I do not feel guilty, I will not feel guilty.



Abusing animals is fucking wrong.


I hope you rot in hell.

its the end of the day. and after adding up the apple slices, the pasta, and the gum i've eaten; my end result is 480 calories. it feels like way too much. i want to exercise more. i can't lay on the floor because of chronic back pain (from a car accident) so i do my crunches standing up, making sure all of my weight goes down into a lunge-like position. i do about six hundred a day. unfortunately i can't run in my house (old wooden floors with a sealed basement underneath - e.g i dont want my fat ass to break open the basement) and since its winter out, i can't go walking/running outside. i was wondering if anyone else here had some good exercises that feel great. more importantly, i'd like to focus on my ab area and my theighs. i hate how fatty they are.

( more? )

hi,
I've had 405 cal today total and yes, thats good, but my mom made fudge and I'm SO tempted and I don't know if i have enough self control at the moment.
what do you ladies usually do to stop?

To the person who doesn't believe I have an eating disorder, I just feel like saying.. 'Watch me shrink.'
Everytime I see them, I just want to talk to them I guess, but then a subtle anger takes over.. Watch me shrink.. Spins around in my head.
I''m losing weight now. Only a matter of time before I get to my goal. When I reach it, I don't actually care if  you think I look 'fit again', or whether you think I'm fat, or even if you worry about me, but for you not to believe me when I tell you the secret which means most in the whole world to me, then it shows, I don't need you in my life anymore. I was right, I don't really know you.

 Hi lovelies<3
My names Coco..im 16, and  im new to this community. Ive been ana since march, but the last few months have been a big slack and i need to get myself back into control. I think i can label myself as pro ana/ extreme dieter... my longest is i went 1 full week either 100 cals or less, with working out an hour every day. 

Starting Stats...
HW: 142ish
LW: 116
CW: 126
G1: 116 by feb 5th
G2: 110 by feb 27th
GW3: 100 by march 29th

I used to have a LJ but i had to erase it... and thats when i went downhill. i thought i would start fresh, new faces new people and a new set of supporters. I love new friends and supporting others/ being supported, so please friend me!

I post a ton and i wont repeat posts between here and my pain page, i see this as a way to keep myself on track and not let myself fall. Do you want me to white things out if i post what im eating/ what i had that day? 

stay skinny ladies, all the best! I'm really happy to be here.
- Coco

P.S: Today was my day 1... if you friend me i have a whole thing about why i started again, its been a rough week, but what a way to bang out the new year. i ate less then 200 cals total today, worked out 30 mins and plan on working out 30 more later. 

i feel like rosie o'donnel. my body is against me today. it's 5:06pm and ive eaten half an apple and 1/8 cup of pasta. i disgust myself. i can't even bring myself to find the scale let alone weigh my fat. i keep telling myself "just a few more pounds" but who am i kidding? i want all those people who blew me off in hs to realize they made a terrible mistake. i want my sister to be nice to me for once. i keep remembering the day she screamed at me and called me fat. I yelled back "i know my own issues you dont have to point them out." and the second i turned around she yanked me by the shirt collars and slammed me up against the fridge. her hands wrung tight around my neck. i thought it might break. i had hoped it would. i hate how she always tells her personal issues to everyone (especially the first day she knows them). she claims she was mia; but i doubt that. she doesn't live like me. she wouldnt die for mia like i would. she doesn't grimace every time she sees herself in a mirror like me. she doesn't scold herself for being too fat to exsist. she doesn't purge and starve everyday to feel worthy of any sort of attention. she eats a million times a day, won't excercize and then wonders why she's so huge. i've promised that i would never be like her. i want to be thin. i want people to notice me the second i enter a room. i want her to feel guilty. i want to be perfect. so, i pray and give myself to ana and mia. they've always been around for me to lean on. they've always kept me going, keep making me stronger. everyone else is crumbling around me but i'm strong, and i'm starting to look beautiful.

only seventy more pounds until i hit bone. i can't wait. i want to show the world how beautiful my bones are.

So cold and fat.. My nail beds were so blue todaay same with my hands, so cold and dry..ick =/.. Im still a cow though. I have this fat on the bottom of my stomach and I just want to take a knife and slice it off.. Ive barely been eating and the weight isn't coming off, why the fuck is it not coming off =/.. Makes me psychotically think im meant to be fat for forever.

109 I hate that number so bad.. Its an old scale gunna go use my wii fit scale..thats accurate.. I want to jump out my window.. I hate how ana twists words to make it sound like the whole worlds against me.. I feel like everyone thinks im fat, and thye can see the weight ive gained......................... sorry I write so much, its better than self mutilation.............I want to be beautiful..
I want to taste thing. ug!

Hello ladies,

So despite last night i've seemed to get down to 107. I'm so paranoid though that my boyfriend is noticing that i'm not eating like i used to. But I dont want to let that bring me down because today is actually going fairly good.

Hope you all are doing fabulous.

if you want to text send me ur number to my email: sunkissedbabe100@yahoo.com

keep on truckin :D

Well I was doing ok today. I had a banana for breakfast and homemade vegetable suop for lunch with a roll. Then I went and ate 525calories worth of chocolate. :( Then, I had pasta with cheese sause for dinner. All of it. Urg... I feel so disgusting. Tomorrow will be better.

Does anyone have anything that they're going to do when they reach a certain weight? When I'm 100lbs or less, I'm going to ask out the guy I like. :D

Alice x

Look up the lyrics to "Stella" by All Time Low.

I often laugh to my friends on how thats basically the soundtrack of my life.
...no. Really. I don't tell them how serious I am about it.

I AM only happy when I'm wasted.

So why would I want to stop drinking?

120, fml.
ugh.
:'(

hey, so i'm new.

im obviously not gonna post stats right now (need to get to know you a bit first)

but, ive had an ED for over 5 years now (roughly).
currently, through my parents force, receiving treatment.
its done shit all.

so Hi.

Is there anything else i need to add?

oh, my names Charlotte btw. Lottie for short.

I haven't cut in a month as of today.
But I feel like I'm exactly where I was a month ago. Nothing has changed.

I'm a proud fangirl who resides in the House MD fandom. There are factions, silly ones, even factions within factions. In the community of those who ship House/Wilson there is a particular problem with factions and it has made everything there much less enjoyable. 

I'm vowing to be the one to try and solve this diplomatically. 

My real secret? I'm absolutely, down-to-the-bones terrified of what I'm about to undertake. 

Nice to meet you, I'm Rox. Let me start off by saying a few things about me. I have always been ashamed of myself, but it all started when I finally had a mental breakdown when I was 17 because I realized I was almost 150lbs. I Got down to 110lbs. (my lowest) less than a year ago (I'm 21 now) and have slowly been putting it back on. I'm probably close to 130 by now, but I'm deathly afraid to confirm it on the scale. I started my adderall diet today to try and get back to where I was. I'm hoping to supress my diet enough to eat less than 500 cal each day and run for atleast 30 min a day. I'm just so dissappointed that I let myself go. I honestly worked harder to get to 110lbs. then I have ever worked at anything in my life, and I ruined it all.

ANYWAYS I was just wondering- for all of you if there was ever a time in your life that inspired you the most? For me, It was when I saw the movie White Oleander for the first time. Everyone has always told me I look like the main character (Allison Lohman) and I didn't pay much attention to it. Then I saw the movie and fell inlove with her. It was deffinitely a very influential time for me when I went through that phase- I would seclude myself everyday for weeks and watch her movies over and over, hoping that if I kept at it, I would be as beautiful as her, and not just the chubby version. I have been thinking about this "phase" because I feel like I need this type of inspiration in my life again. For me, It really fuled me into becoming who I always wanted to be and it felt amazing. I haven't been able to find anything influential lately though.

I would be very interested in hearing your stories! Hope to talk to some of you soon :)